I needed you
by Casualtyfanforever
Summary: Unable to confined in Iain, Rita goes home hurt and tired. But what happens when somebody is at home waiting for her? He said he would make her pay for what had happened, that he would make her suffer... and he mean't it. Rated T for mentions of self harm and other potentially triggering subjects. Please read and review xxx
1. Chapter 1

Through the rain and the window she could still see Iain, looking at his phone then placing it back down on the table. He had ignored her message. Rita looked on the ground letting the rain water soak through her hair, while disappointment flooded her mind. Maybe she was a bitch, maybe she was a heartless cow. All the things that Mark had called her in the past, despite being the one that cheated on her with a 15 year old school girl.

Rita begun to contemplate her relationship with Iain Dean, she had portrayed herself as dirty and easy. Maybe in some ways a slag? Rita felt a tear drop from her eye as she begun the cold walk home, there was no point in getting a cab, she didn't want anybody seeing her so vulnerable. She had made a promise to herself after Mark, she would never let anybody see her weak, see her at her worst. She had to be strong, put up her walls and defences to stop getting hurt again.

She remembered seeing Mark again in the ED, how her heart dropped. He couldn't be back in Holby, nothing felt safe any more. Not now she knew Mark was back, not now his girlfriend ended it with him after the ectopic. She wanted Iain to hold her, tell her everything would be alright but he didn't care. He was more interested in the pub than her, why would it be any different?

Rita continued to walk home, she was becoming colder by the second, she hugged her leather jacket tighter around her body. Trying to maintain some warmth, it was no good the rain was soaking her body. Why did she think it would be a good idea to walk back in the dark and rain? Maybe a taxi would have been the better idea.

After ten more minutes of walking in the rain she appeared on her doorstep, she hooked out her key from her back pocket and pushed it into the lock. Once getting inside her house she shut the door and locked up, she felt the warmth hug her body. When she took off her jacket many water droplets hit the floor.

Rita kicked off her shoes and went into the kitchen, pulling a glass out from the washing up bowl she smashed it against the floor. She then went to pick up the sharpest shard of glass and pressed it against her arm, before she realised what she was doing there was a long deep cut on her lower arm.

"Fuck" She muttered to herself, she ran up into the bathroom and swung open the door. Her stomach dropped, the light was already on and standing there opposite her was Mark, an evil grin plastered across his face. Rita was frozen to the spot with fear, drops of blood started hitting the tiles on the bathroom floor.

"Hello Rita.. What have you done? You really are a stupid bitch" With that he lunged at her, sending Rita crashing to the ground before she had a chance to respond.

 ** _14 hours later..._**

"Where the hell is Rita?!" Connie asked Zoe, Zoe simply shook her head then continued with her work.

Nobody had seen Rita all morning and she was due to start two hours ago, Connie had left endless angry voicemails but had received no response from her colleague.

 _ **I hope you guys like the first chapter, I deleted my other story due to lack of interest. Please leave a review to let me know what you guys think, or feel free to drop me a PM if you have any ideas that you are willing to share. I will be updating this fic at least one chapter each week, days may be different because I work different shifts each week. Sorry for any errors it has been a while since I have written. I really hope that you guys enjoy this! xxx**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for all of your reviews! I hope that you continue to enjoy the story, sorry for any errors that have been made in this chapter. Enjoy!xxx**

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Rita laid on the floor struggling to catch her breath, she had slowly regained her consciousness. It felt like she had a heavy weight on her chest, as she sat up she noticed she was cold. Looking down at her lower half of her body she realised her jeans were missing, she was completely naked on the lower half of her body.

"No.. No no no" She muttered to herself hopelessly, she begun to choke on her tears realising what had happened. Turning her head she looked next to her, and there was a used condom on the floor and her jeans were next to them. She could feel blood trickling down her cheek as she raised turned her head.

Rita pulled her legs up to her chest and held them close, sobbing into her knees. Fear begun to wash over her, was he still in the house? Within a second she bolted into the bathroom grabbing her dressing gown, she quickly wrapped it around her body. Like a mad woman she ran all over her house, ignoring the dizziness that was trying to consume her. She was shaking like a leaf running all over the house, there was no sign of Mark. She locked all her doors and windows and closed all her curtains. She struggled for air when doing this, petrified that he may still be in the house. That he could still get to her. Her body was stiff with fear as she pulled her curtains shut.

After securing the house she sat on the floor of her bedroom, hysterically crying and shaking. Her arm was still bleeding and so was her head, she could feel a strong pain in her stomach. All of this made her cry harder, her thoughts were racing, what had happened?

Her last memory was of Mark lunging towards her and grasping hold of her wrists, battling her to the ground. She put her hands to her neck and another memory came back to her, it was of Mark lying on top of her, holding onto her neck until she fainted. Coming back to her thoughts she gulped and looked around the room, everything was so quiet.

Weakly curiosity occupied Rita's mind, she looked at the clock and saw it was pointing towards the two, from the daylight coming through the curtains she gathered that it was two in the afternoon. She was hours late for her shift. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, she would have to call the ED or she'd be at risk of losing her job.

Slowly she stood up and walked to the side of her bed, her mobile was on the bedside table. She sat on the end of her bed and took her phone to call the ED, thankfully it was Zoe that answered and not Connie.

"Hello, Holby City ED, Dr Hanna speaking"

"Zoe... It's Rita" Rita gulped, she was trying to keep her voice strong, to make sure they wouldn't catch on.

"Rita where are you? Connie is on the war path for you"

"I'm sorry, I should have called in sooner... I've been throwing up all morning, I think I've caught stomach flu, so I can't come in for the rest of the week" Rita thought she was being clever, the lie just slipped off her tongue.

"Okay, are you sure you're alright? Do you want me to come over?"

"No.. No. Wouldn't want you catching it" Rita could feel tears falling from her eyes as she continued to lie to her friend. Her body was shaking from both fear and pain, she was so scared.

"Okay well get some rest, I'll see you next week?"

"Yeah, yeah you will. Have a good shift" With that she placed the phone back on the bedside table and took a deep breath. She stood up and made her way into the bathroom, she sat herself in the shower with it on and still in her dressing gown. All she could think of was how dirty she was, she needed to get the feel of Mark away. She needed to get rid of the feel of his touch.

Taking a closer look at her arm, the cut was still weakly bleeding and she had bruises that covered her wrists. She continued to cry, resting her head against the cold tiles as the warm water cascaded down her body. She tried to breathe through the pain that invaded her body but it was useless. Looking down by the plug she could see the water was turning a light pink from the blood that was coming from her arm and head.

 **At the ED...**

Iain was at the reception desk filling the paperwork for his previous patient, this was when he overheard Zoe on the phone.

"Finally heard from Rita then?" He raised his eyebrows and walked closer to Zoe.

"Yeah, I'm a bit worried about her to be honest, she didn't sound well at all" Zoe looked up at Iain, she couldn't put her finger on it but something didn't seem right when Rita was on the phone.

"What was the excuse then?"

"Stomach flu, so she won't be in for a week" With that Zoe left to go and find Connie to tell her the news.

"Ahh.." Iain responded, he thought to himself, Rita would never phone in sick even if she did have stomach flu. He finished his paperwork then got out of his uniform and into his shirt jacket and jeans. His shift was over so he was going to go to Rita's to see what was going on.

When he got to her house he noticed all of the curtains were closed, he knocked on the door but there was no response. Bending down he put his head through the letter box and shouted through.

"Rita.. It's Iain.. " He waited a few seconds but nothing, he decided to knock again and wait a little longer. Maybe she was sleeping? After spending fifteen minutes knocking and calling for her through the letter box, and calling her mobile, he decided to go home. He took one last look at the house before beginning the walk back to the car, unbeknown to him Rita was sat in the shower crying, bleeding, and possibly hurt, trying to make herself feel clean from the events that had taken place.


	3. Chapter 3

**Two updates in one day, aren't you guys lucky. Please review and let me know what you think :) xxx Again sorry for any mistakes!**

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Iain went home and tried calling Rita again, but nothing. Worry begun to fill his thoughts, why wasn't she replying to his messages? He frowned looking through his call history, he had called Rita 12 times in the past hour. Maybe she was ignoring him deliberately, had he done something wrong? Iain turned on the TV for some background noise, the silence was making him more concerned about Rita.

He thought about going back to her house, he thought that appeared to be a tad desperate though. Getting up he made his way to the kitchen to place a ready meal into the microwave. All he could think about was Rita. He stabbed the plastic topping absent-mindedly thinking about what could have happened.

He did love her, he wanted her to be with him so they could talk things through. She had wanted to talk to him the other day about how bad the shift was going, but he hadn't really paid attention now he regretted it. Maybe this is why she was ignoring him? It seemed plausible to Iain that it could be the cause, and she pulled sicky to avoid him while things cooled off, even so he felt he didn't deserve the silent treatment.

Thinking about it in detail made Iain a tad angry, she had no clear reason to completely avoid him. Why was he bothering with her? What was the point if she was just going to ignore him constantly, he had enough of it.

Rita had been in the shower for over an hour, the water had gone cold and she could feel herself shivering. She muttered to herself as she stood up, turning off the water. She was wearing her dressing gown and shirt, she looked down and noticed the wet shirt had been ripped open and her bra was also missing. Her lack of clothing was soaked due to her keeping them on in the shower, she wanted to keep herself covered, she felt disgusting. The pain in her stomach seemed to be getting worse, she couldn't hold herself up unless she was leaning against something. When she stepped out of the shower she looked in the mirror, it was only then she noticed there was writing on it that was written in red lipstick.

 **READ THE LETTER**  
A red arrow pointed downwards towards the sink.

She swallowed the lump that formed in her throat and looked in the sink, sure enough there was a piece of paper which had writing on it.

 _Rita,  
I suppose you thought you could get away with it, get away with what you have done. Remember our wedding vows. _

_Till death do we part._

 _I'm going to make your life hell, the only way you're going to get away from me is by being dead. Nobody can save you. Nobody.  
You're weak Rita, I remember looking at the scars that covered your legs and hips, and it seems you have fallen back into your old ways. I'm going to enjoy making you pay. _

_This is just the beginning Rita, and if you dare tell anybody I will make you regret it. I'm not going to stop until you have nothing left, no job, no friends, nowhere to feel safe._

 _Everybody will see you for what you really are, a dirty heartless bitch._

Rita dropped the paper and looked at herself in the mirror, she had blood which was trickling down her face from a cut on her head. She picked up the flannel that was on the side, slowly placing it against the cut. On closer inspection she could see it was only superficial, just needing some steri strips. Her legs were shaking, there was no way that she could ignore that note. He had made it clear he was willing to go to any length to make her pay, even rape her. Rita tried to regain some form of composure, she tried to remain strong for herself but nothing could stop her from crying.

She was so confused about what she was going to do, she could tell Iain but what if Mark found out and came back. The thought of him returning made her blood run cold. She felt so dirty, she felt like she needed to have another shower to get rid of him.

She gasped as another pain ripped through her stomach, this made her collapse onto the bathroom floor clutching her tummy. In this moment of weakness she crawled to her bedroom to get her phone, without thinking she called Iain who answered almost immediately.

"Rita I..." She cut him off instantly, crying and sobbing

"Please come over, he... he... was here... Iain please help me.." Rita broke down over the phone, she couldn't help it. She was gasping for air while trying to explain what had happened, but no words were coming out.

"Rita what's happened, are you hurt?" His voice was flooded with concern, but hearing him was a comfort to Rita. She was really struggling to breath and all she wanted was Iain by her side, holding her and telling her everything would be okay.

"Just please come over" Rita sobbed, she couldn't bring herself to tell him what had happened over the phone. She kept hold of her stomach as the pain became unbearable. She was shaking uncontrollably and dripping blood all over the carpet from her head and arm. Her phone then made a loud beeping noise next to her ear as it ran out of charge.

"No... Please no" She continued to sob, she scratched at her arm widening the cut which caused it to bleed again and more heavily. At least it would take her mind off the pain in her stomach. She couldn't handle the pain for much longer, everything begun to spin, she felt a hot stinging at the back of her throat and she was sick on the carpet. She continued to be violently sick, clutching hold of her stomach and wet dressing gown for support. She couldn't fight it any longer and let her eyes close.

Iain raced out of his house, grabbing all his first aid materials he could lay his hands on from the cupboard, he then got into his car, speeding his way to Rita's. He was so worried about her, what had happened? What state was he going to find her in?

He pulled up directly outside her house, he grabbed the medical bag and ran towards the house after locking the car.

"Fuck" He looked around the potted plants, trying to find a spare key. He knocked one over and broke it, he was trying to act quickly he needed to get into the house, see that Rita was okay. There was nothing. He bent down and peered through the letter box,

"Rita, sweetheart its Iain can you let me in?" He waited for a reply but there was nothing. This made him worry more, why couldn't she come to the door and let him in? Was she hurt? She never answered when he asked her, then the phone line just cut off. He didn't want to wait any longer, Iain slammed his body into the door forcing it open. Once open he looked around the hall and shut the door behind him, he could hear something coming from the bedroom upstairs. Iain bolted it up the stairs and into the bedroom, he could feel tears building up in his eyes, nothing could have prepared him for this.


	4. Chapter 4

The sight made his stomach churn, that was his Rita. She was lying there so vulnerable, it was all his fault if only he forced his way in earlier, maybe he would have been able to stop it. She was lying there soaking wet, dripping blood and beside a pool of sick. Iain wanted to be sick, he was a paramedic seeing this sort of thing was second nature, but this wasn't any patient, this was Rita. His Rita. The woman who he deeply loved and cared about.

Iain bent down beside her, gently taking hold of her wrist to take her pulse, it was too fast for what it should be. He swallowed and took out his phone, calling the one person he knew he could rely on to keep quiet. Dixie.

She answered after a few rings, which made Iain happy as he had some time to think.

"Dix... I need you to come round to Rita's house in the Ambo, tell nobody from the ED and we need to go to St James" His voice was shaky, he then hung up leaving Dixie no time to speak, he needed to tend to Rita.

He looked down at her body, scanning it for obvious injury, the first thing he noticed was she had a deep cut on her head, scanning further down he noticed her arm. She looked so pale, so scared and frightened. The next thing made his stomach drop and his blood boil, Rita wasn't wearing jeans or underwear. He scanned further up and that is when he also noticed that her shirt had been ripped open and she had no bra on.

"No... please no" Iain muttered to himself, this couldn't be happening, not to Rita. He took off his jacket covering Rita's lower half to try and give her some modesty. Tears begun to fall from his eyes, he couldn't hold them in for much longer. He couldn't believe this was happening. Millions of thoughts and questions were running through his head, he continued to cry silently as he searched his first aid materials to see if anything else would be useful.

"Baby please wake up for me.." He coaxed gently, he wanted her to wake up and be conscious, at least then he had one less thing to worry about. But she didn't respond.

Iain found some dressings so he could dress her arm and head. He started with her head, gently applying it, trying to take his mind off what had happened, but it was no good. Moving onto her arm he noticed there was scratch marks all around the cut, it looked like it had been forced open even more, he thought nothing of it and dressed it.

After tending to her wounds he felt for any broken bones, he saw the deep bruising that covered her wrists. It was all getting too much for him, he turned his head away to try and compose himself so he could treat her. When looking out in the landing he saw something that confirmed everything, there was a used condom and a wrapper next to it, along with most of Rita's clothing.

Anger was getting the better of Iain, he was thinking of all the things he could do to the scum that did this to Rita. A lightbulb then went off in his head, he knew exactly who did this, it must have been Mark.

Looking back at Rita he frowned, this was not right, she didn't deserve this. Placing his hand gently on her hair he then saw the bruising around her neck, Iain took a deep breath and went into paramedic mode, fully examining Rita.

Making sure he had checked for everything, when he placed his hands on her stomach he noticed it felt rigid and harder then how a stomach should feel. When he moved his hand to check her pulse again he noticed her eyes flicker.

Within milliseconds Rita had come to her senses, she could feel hands around her wrists. She sat up immediately pulling her legs up to her chest and begun rocking. She was so dizzy and couldn't make out the man in front of her.

"Rita, sweetheart its Iain... It's okay, I'm here now" Iain was really concerned about her, she managed to sit herself so she was leaning against the bed, but he noticed she was swaying gently.

"L...L.. Leave me alone" Rita managed to whisper, she clung hold of the jacket, trying her best to cover herself up with it. It was killing Iain inside to see her in this state, to see her scared of him, he hadn't stopped crying since he first saw her in this way.

"I'm not going to hurt you Rita" He kept his voice soft, he didn't take his eyes off Rita she was staring back at him but she seemed like she was somewhere else.

Rita's face screwed up in pain and she fell to her side clutching hold of her stomach and crying out in pain. Iain moved over to her quickly, laying her on her back and examining her stomach again. It felt like she was internally bleeding, Iain panicked as he noticed her eyes roll and close softly.

"Rita, sweetheart I need you to stay awake for me okay" Iain was too late though as drifted unconscious again.

"Iain?! Where are you?!" Dixie's voice made Iain jump, but he had never been so happy to hear her shouting his name.

"Upstairs Dix!"

Dixie entered the room, she didn't know what to say. Biting her lip she took off her equipment bag and begun to insert a catheter into Rita.

"Her pulse is 130, she has two lacerations one on her head and one on her arm, I've dressed them both. Nothing appears to be broken and I think she is internally bleeding..."

"Right" Dixie responded before getting to work, between the pair of them they managed to get Rita into the back of the ambulance. Neither of them spoke a word, Iain knew Dixie would know Rita had been raped, but he couldn't bring himself to say the word.

"Iain, I know you said you wanted to go to St James, but they're really overstretched and it's a far longer journey than if we took her to Holby" Dixie said as she got into the front seat of the Ambulance, she looked back at Iain who was with Rita.

"Okay" Iain knew that Rita would probably never forgive him, but she needed medical attention and he wasn't willing to compromise that with anything. He wanted her to have the best care that was available.

Iain looked back at Rita she was still so vulnerable, so weak from the injuries that had been inflicted upon her. He took hold of her hand and kissed it softly.

"I'm sorry Rita.. I'm so sorry. I should have been there, I should have protected you"


	5. Chapter 5

This chapter is from Iain's Point of View, thank you so much for all of your kind reviews and support it means a lot to me! It also makes me feel like I need to update them as quickly as possible haha. I hope you all enjoy this chapter :) xxx

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Why did this have to happen to her? Why couldn't Mark just leave her alone... I know it was him, it must have been him. Who else would do that to Rita? My Rita. She is lying on the trolley so vulnerable, so lifeless, was this my fault? What if I left the pub earlier? So many questions were racing through my head.

I know Rita is probably going to kill me and Dix for taking her to Holby, but at least I know she will be well looked after there. More tears fell as we continued the journey to the ED. Me and Dixie never spoke a word, we just sat there in silence, well other than the beeping from the machines that reminded me that Rita was slowly getting worse.

Her BP was 70/60, her pulse continued to increase, I was so sure it was internal bleeding. It made me so angry, angry that it happened to her.

"Right mate, we're here" Dixie's voice brought me out of my thoughts and back into reality.

"I'm gonna go and grab Zoe, try and keep this all on the down low. Will you be okay?" Dixie asked turning around to face me, I nodded and smiled weakly.

"Thank you Dix" She smiled back at me then left, I was glad that she was trying her best to keep it on the down low. The last thing Rita would need is everybody in the ED knowing what had happened.

I rubbed small circles on the back of Rita's hand, being careful of the catheter which Dixie had been so gentle with inserting. I could see finger print bruises on her wrists, why did they think that it was okay to hurt Rita in this way? I still couldn't say the word, it just made me feel sick. Imagining Rita lying there so helpless, unable to fight back, Mark was so much bigger and stronger than she was. I was thinking of all the things I could do to him if I ever saw him near her again.

Suddenly the back doors of the ambulance opened, revealing Dixie, Zoe and Ethan. I looked at them but couldn't speak, I was still in shock after seeing it all. I was in the army, I've seen men get killed, but this was worse. I've seen the woman that I loved in a state that no woman should ever be in.

"Iain we're going to take her into resus, if anybody asks she'll be a Jane Doe. Nobody other than me and Ethan will know what has happened, is that okay?" Zoe asked softly.

"Yeah.. Thank you" I helped Dixie unload the trolley and wheel her into the ED. Walking in I was so anxious that somebody would notice it was Rita, we all kept silent as we took her to the side room in resus. Thankfully nobody noticed what was going on and we walked through without a word being spoken to any of us.

I helped them move Rita onto the bed, which is when Dixie begun the transfer.

"Okay as you both know, this is Rita. She was unconscious at the scene, her BP fell to 70/60 on route, she's got a pulse of 138 and a GES of 5. She's got a laceration on her head and her lower left arm, suspected sprained wrist and possibly abdominal bleeding. There was also sick at the scene and there's a chance she has been sexually assaulted" Dixie spoke quietly and professionally, I don't know how she did it, said those words.

"Thank you Dixie, I say we order in a fast scan and check her abdomen. Iain did you want to go and get a warm drink?" Ethan asked, I know he was just trying to be a mate, but I didn't want a warm drink. I wanted Rita to be okay, I needed her to be okay, I love her.

"No" I tried to be firm, I watched as they attached her to various monitors, none of them were showing good signs. She was so weak and vulnerable. Within the next few seconds she started shaking violently, she was fitting violently. I couldn't believe what was happening, I was routed to the spot even though simply watching was making me feel sick. I was watching the events in slow motion with my heart racing, suddenly Rita was being intubated, there was blood around her mouth. I was trying but I couldn't make out what Zoe and Ethan were saying I couldn't hear anything. Everything was getting too much, I didn't know what to do, how I could help. If I could even help. My heart was racing quicker, thumping hard in my chest.

"Iain come on, let them work on her mate. She's safe here" Dixie put her arm around me and guided me out of resus while they worked on Rita, I didn't have the strength to argue. I knew Rita was safe with Zoe and Ethan, I went with Dixie to the ambulance station where she lead me into her office.

She sat me on her sofa, where I buried my head in my hands and cried. Dixie sat next to me and held me close, I continued to cry onto her. Rita was in such a bad way and it was all my fault, I did nothing, I was useless. I am useless, I'm sat here in Dixie's office when I should be with Rita. I should be with her.

"It's alright, let it out mate" Dixie coaxed, I was so lucky to have her as my friend she really cared.

"Dix it's all my fault"

"Hey why do you say that?"

"If I had left the pub earlier, gone to Rita's. I could have stopped it"

"You don't know that love" Dixie looked me in the eye, I know there is some truth in what she has to say, but I still couldn't believe it. I was still the one to blame. Rita needed me and I wasn't there.

I was getting so angry, especially when I thought about it in detail. What had happened, when I looked down at my shirt I could see it was covered in blood. Rita's blood.

"I'm gonna be sick" I mustered quietly.

I got up from the sofa and ran into the mens, I made it just in time as I violently threw up in the sink. All the details adding up made me sick, how Rita had experienced Mark forcing himself on her, how he had beat her to the point she needed serious medical attention from the Doctors in the ED. How I was now covered in her blood and saw her lying there on the bedroom floor covered in blood and sick. I couldn't get rid of that sight, every time I closed my eyes I saw her, lying there.

I didn't even notice the door opening, Dixie allowed herself in and placed a cup of water in front of me. I took it gratefully and sipped at it, I also notice Zoe was in the room until she spoke.

"Iain, I've got some news for you... About Rita" She sounded serious, I looked at her in the eye in fear of what she was going to say.

"It appears that Rita was internally bleeding both in the brain and from her spleen. She's up in surgery now but it may be a while, the Police are on the way as well. They're probably going to want to talk to you and Dixie"

"Is she okay?" I whispered, what else could possibly go wrong? What else could possibly happen? I just want this all to be over, wake up and it be a bad dream. Wake up and tell Rita and have her laugh in my face at how ridiculous the situation is.

"She's a fighter Iain, I'll come and find you guys when she's out of surgery"

"Thank you Zoe" Dixie responded for me, I couldn't speak. I can't believe this is all happening, I can feel myself fall to pieces, the only thing holding me together is that Rita is going to need me. More than ever.

"Could I have a minute please?" I whispered, I just needed time to myself. To allow the news to sink in, the pair of them nodded at me and left. I turned back to the mirror, staring at my reflection, the anger was making my blood boil. Clenching my fists I punched the mirror, shattering it instantly, but that didn't stop me continuing to punch the wall where the mirror was. I couldn't stop until my fist went numb.

My breathing turned heavy and I was shaking from the force that I punched the wall with, looking down I saw my knuckles were covered in blood and glass, they were just a bloody mess. That didn't bother me though, it was nothing compared with what Rita had gone through. It was also nothing compared to the damage I would cause to Mark if I got my hands on him, I wanted him to pay for what he had done to Rita.

I decided to leave the toilets and find Dixie, it didn't take long to find her, she was talking with Zoe in her office. When I walked in they both stared at me, then at my hand. The pair of them sighed before looking at me apologetically.

"Come with me to cubicles Iain" Zoe said, she then led me out of Dixie's office and back into the ED. I looked at my hand again, it was covered in blood and had small bits of glass in the cuts which were also rather deep. There was no point in arguing with Zoe or Dixie, or trying to refuse treatment, I wasn't in the mood for arguments. I just wanted Rita, I wanted to be beside her and protect her. The numbness was starting to fade and it was being replaced with stinging pains in my knuckles, I flexed my knuckles trying to examine the damage further as I sat on the bed that Zoe had led me to.

I took a deep breath and swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat, I had no idea how I was going to deal with this. How I was going to help Rita through this, dark times are ahead and I'm not sure I'm ready. I was never prepared for this.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry about the long wait guys, this chapter took me forever to write and I ended up having to do it on my phone as the computer broke so I'm sorry if this is a bad chapter or if there are any mistakes I have tried my best to get rid of most of the spelling errors. I hope you guys enjoy, please leave a review and let me know what you guys think.**

Iain was sat in the cubicle still, looking at his newly bandaged hand. Zoe had given him stitches and removed the glass from the cuts, he refused the pain relief that she offered. He needed to be alert, he wanted to be awake and alert for Rita.

The curtain then opened and in walked Dixie with two police officers. Crap, he broke the mirror and technically that was criminal damage. Dixie wouldn't have snitched to the police surely? Millions of thoughts ran through his head,

"Dixie I'm sorry, I'll pay for the mirror and..."

"No Iain.. They're here for what happened with Rita" Dixie cut him off, she could see Iain's face drop. He felt physically sick.

"Hello Mr Dean, I'm Detective Newman, and this is my Colleague officer Hastings. I need to ask you some questions and take a statement about what happened at 98 Hilltop lane today. Is that okay?" She said calmly, she was wearing a suit whilst the other was in a uniform. Iain swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, he was going to have to tell them sooner or later, he wanted them to find who was responsible. Mark.

"Uhm.. Yeah"

"Can you please tell me what happened?" She pulled a pen and notebook out of her pocket and then looked at Iain.

"I uhm.. I went to Rita's house, she phoned in sick I wanted to see if she was okay" Iain looked at the ground, every time he closed his eyes he saw Rita lying on the ground. Dixie moved herself and sat next to Iain, taking hold of his hand that was okay, she could see that he was finding this difficult.

"And what is your relationship to Miss Freeman?"

"I'm her boyfriend, when I went around she didn't answer the door. I thought she was sleeping so I left. About an hour later she phoned me"

"Did she say anything?"

"Not much, she was crying. Said she needed help then the phone line went dead, I went round there as quickly as possible. Again, when I knocked the door she didn't reply so I broke the door open" Tears begun to roll down Iain's cheek, he couldn't believe all of this was happening. He took some deep breaths, he wasn't sure he could continue.

"It's okay Mr Dean, you're doing really well" The detective prompted, it was a few moments before Iain replied.

"I went upstairs, she was just lying there on the floor unconscious. She was surrounded with blood and sick, her top had been ripped open. She was naked from the waist down, covered in bruises" Thinking back he felt physically sick, seeing Rita in that way made his stomach churn and his blood boil, he wanted to kill Mark for doing this to her.

"What did you do?" That question made Iain freeze, he thought back to what he had done. He was a crap paramedic, he couldn't even help his girlfriend. He wasted too much time thinking and looking at her than acting, maybe if he had acted faster she wouldn't have been in such a bad way. He thought of all the things he could have done, he could have inserted a line faster, he had the equipment. He should have examined her stomach better so he knew about the bleed earlier on. Taking another deep breath he replied slowly to the question.

"I dressed the cuts on her head and arm, I put my jacket over her legs. There.. There was a used condom on the floor by her jeans and underwear" Iain felt himself shaking, he wanted to get rid of all these images in his head.

"Would we be able to go there, collect evidence to find who did this" The officer asked,

"It was Mark.. her ex. I'm sure of it"

"Okay, thank you Iain. I'm sure this is all we are going to need for now, here is my card. Do you think Rita would mind us going to collect any evidence?" She handed him a card with her name, number and email address. Iain took it and stroked it with his thumb, paying a lot of attention to the card.

"No.. Please go and get all the evidence that you can" He whispered, he knew in the long run it would be good for Rita. She would need all the evidence that they could get to make sure he was behind bars, because if he wasn't Iain didn't know what he would do to him.

"We will secure the house afterwards, thank you for your time. Could you please call us when Rita is well enough to give a statement"

"Of course" Iain replied, and with that they left. It was just him and Dixie. Neither of them spoke, Dixie just sat there with him comforting him by holding his hand. She hated seeing her friend like this, this should never have happened.

"Shall we go up to HDU, Zoe told me she would be there around 9 and it's just gone that" Dixie looked at her watch, it had been a long day for everybody involved.

"Yeah.. Dix, I don't know how to help her" Iain lifted his head, the events had begun to sink in even more than before. How was he going to help Rita. How was he going to make sure that she got through this, he was stuck. He loved her so much, he didn't want this to change who she was, she was his strong independent Rita and he feared that these events could break her.

"Just be there, take it day by day. Come on kiddo" Dixie gave him a weak smile and jumped off the bed, she then held out her hand for Iain to take. He took it and got off the bed, then they headed towards HDU together to see Rita.


	7. Chapter 7

Iain had been beside Rita's bedside all night, he held onto her hand tightly he never wanted to let go. He had a phone call from the detective earlier on, they had managed to gather all the evidence and secure up Rita's house. Dixie had also gone and left him on his own with Rita. He didn't know how he was going to cope, how he was going to help Rita get through this.

He kept looking at her monitors to see how she was doing, her BP was still low and pulse was still weak but she was getting there. He looked at her properly, he had tried to avoid doing this because he couldn't bare seeing her in this way, in this state. Her head and arm had been thickly bandaged up and wires were all over her arms and hands. He then paid attention to the bruises around her wrists, they looked so sore. Iain could make out the finger marks, it made him feel sick he could feel the burning sensation in his throat.

The beeping from the machines had stopped him from getting any sleep, he couldn't sleep even if he wanted to, he wanted to watch over Rita he needed to be there for her. He was told that the operation had gone well and she could possibly wake up soon. He remembered the doctor telling him that her spleen had been damaged beyond repair and they had to remove it completely. He rubbed circles on the back of Rita's hand with his thumb, being careful to avoid the catheter that had been placed there.

Looking at Rita's eyes he noticed that they flickered slightly,

"Reet?" He whispered hopefully, desperately wanting a response.

"Mmmm" she mumbled quietly, this made Iain jump to his feet with hope that she was going to wake up.

He watched as her eyes flickered open and then slowly scanned the room that she had been placed in, she then looked at Iain with worry in her eyes.

"Sweetheart it's 's okay" He coaxed gently, he could see that she was scared and didn't have a clue what was going on.

"Wha... My throat" Rita gestured towards her throat, Iain got some ice chips from the side and fed them to her slowly. Rita sucked on them feeling weak from the trauma that her body had endured, she hated Iain was acting like a slave for her. She wanted her independence back. There was a few moments of silence before Rita spoke again,

"Am I okay?"

"What do you mean love? Of course you're okay sweetie" Iain cupped her cheek and stroked it softly with his thumb, it was killing him inside seeing her lying there so vulnerable and weak.

"I mean why am I here?" Rita looked Iain in the eyes, she felt so weak and tired.

"Don't you remember what happened?" Iain frowned, he sat back down in his seat and took hold of Rita's hand softly trying his best to comfort her. She seemed so empty, like she wasn't his Rita anymore. It was like Mark had taken so much of her away from him, the spark in her eyes had gone. Mark had replaced that with cuts and bruises.

"Nothing happened Iain. I fell" She snapped harshly, Rita winced as snapping harshly caused a pain which shot through her body. Each time she closed her eyes she could see Mark, she could still feel him on top of her and it made her skin crawl. But she couldn't tell Iain, she couldn't let anybody get involved or Mark would hurt her again. She would do anything to stop Mark from hurting her again.

"Okay sweetie" Iain swallowed the hard lump that had formed in his throat, he knew from her face that she was lying. She looked scared and hurt, it hurt him that she was lying to him. He knew what happened, he knew she was raped but why didn't she trust him enough to tell him. Falling wouldn't explain the bruises, or the condom, or the fact her clothes had been ripped open and he had found her half naked.

They both sat there in an awkward silence, it was clear to Iain that Rita was not going to talk about what happened. That she was not going to admit she had been raped, it hurt Iain that she had been placed into this position. She was such a good person, she didn't deserve this. There was no noise apart from the beeping of the machines Rita had been hooked up to, neither of them looked at the other. Rita stared at the ceiling thinking about how dirty she was, while Iain remained in a deep stare looking at the metal railing on the bed. He was so angry, he could feel his hand itching from the stitches but he continued to ignore it.

"Iain please tell me what happened, why am I here" Rita pleaded, she needed to know the extent of her injuries, she needed to know why she was in hospital.

"You were internally bleeding in your brain.. They had to operate, you also had to have your spleen removed.. And there's several stitches from a cut in your arm" Iain replied quietly, he looked at the floor, feeling guilty about what had happened. He could have stopped it, he should have been there with her. He should have got to her quicker, been more professional when tending to her injuries. He was tracing back all the little mistakes he had made that afternoon, it was all his fault that she was lying there in the hospital bed.

"Oh" Rita tried to adjust herself in the bed but her body wouldn't work, she just ached all over. The hospital gown was itchy and the bed was too hard, she could feel bandages wrapped around her stomach and around her head. She looked at her arm and felt a flush of embarrassment, did Iain know that it had been caused by self harm? She decided not to say anything, maybe she could say she fell in the shower?. That wouldn't explain the bruising on her wrists or inner thighs though. She had noticed that one of Iain's hands had been bandaged up but decided not to say anything.

Iain sat and thought, still holding on to her hand, he needed to tell her about the Police. About how they had collected all the evidence from her home, the condom and her clothes which had been ripped open.

"Reet we need to talk, I know what happened.. The police will need to" She cut him off instantly,

"Police? Iain nothing happened, I'm not talking to the Police about anything. I fell" Rita panicked, why were the Police getting involved? How could Iain be so stupid, Mark would never let her live if she got the Police involved. It would be easier to ignore what had happened and move on with her life, hope that Mark wouldn't come near her again.

"Babe please I just"

"Just what? Thought you'd be my knight in shinning armour? Just go Iain... Please just go" Rita said sourly, she was trying to hold in her tears she needed Iain to go. She pulled her hand out of Iain's grasp and looked away from him instead looked at the monitors which were by her bedside.

"Okay.. Call me if you need me, please?" Iain was desperate he needed to be with her but she didn't want him, he could see she was getting worked up about it all so he decided it would be best if he went. She needed to rest and keep calm and obviously it wasn't going to happen with him there. So with that he stood up and begun to walk towards the door, he let himself out and then closed the door behind him. It was then he allowed himself to cry as he began walking down the corridor towards the Hospital exit.


End file.
